Breaking News: Men lose money after reading things online
“I don’t understand… I read it online so it must be true,” said Simon Stocken after providing a link to an obscure website with some words on it, “so I really don’t see why I should have to give money to that twat Will Haynes.”
Jack Kidd, who provided his evidence in the form of a photograph with an overlaid caption, backed this up. Somewhere else online, the Flat Earth Society stated: “Our global membership is globally growing around the globe.”
The judge, Lord Chief Justice Wyndham Baker, regarded this as irrelevant to the case and dismissed it. This brought about great howls of “Conspiracy, conspiracy. Them be witches, I mean, winnings!” from both men.
Haynes collected his substantial winnings, then raised a glass of Jack’s best wine to President Obama, who was off on a book tour or something, perhaps an after dinner speech circuit, maybe even just sleeping on a huge pile of cash somewhere, but definitely not in prison.
When asked how he intended to spend the £400, Haynes replied,
“Booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I’ll probably just squander.”
This all happened on 21st June 2019.
You read it here it so it must be true.
Fake news © Will Haynes 2018