20/08/2018 “I don’t understand… I read it online so it must be true,” said Simon Stocken after providing a link to an obscure website with some words on it, “so I really don’t see why I should have to give money to that twat Will Haynes.” Jack Kidd, who provided his evidence in the form […]

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Written by Will Haynes Published on: 31st December 2017  Dreaded conjugal night: it was that time of the month yet again, stipulated in the pre-nup all those years ago by his aggressive team of lawyers. How she regretted that clause… It never got any easier although she had at least devised a system. She could […]

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Written by Will Haynes Some Hack Published on: 30th December 2017    A Miss Jane Marple, 98, of St. Mary Mead, Hampshire, has been charged with a string of cold-blooded murders over a sixty-seven year period. In a shocking twist it has been revealed that due to a combination of police incompetence, class-influenced nepotism, and […]

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Written by Will Haynes Published on: 10th December 2017  Though few might remember specific names of the elves that were among the first to break the Lapland code of omerta and denounce him, the allegations came flying thick and fast and embarrassingly publicly once the age-old culture of silence was broken. When grotto whistleblower, Rudolph […]

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BY WILL HAYNES Published on: 3rd November 2016    America was run now as a reality television game show. The format was simple. Each episode the Cabinet was divided into two teams by the President, set various tasks, and pitched against each other. At the end of every episode the Commander-in-Chief would fire one of […]

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